Ramadhan mubarak, people! It's already the fifth day of Ramadhan (or for some of you it might be the sixth) and I've been busy worshiping God by the most convenient ibadah of the month: sleeping. Not good, I know. But I have a legit reason behind it. I started Ramadhan with a good sleepless night. I didn't sleep at all before facing the first day of Ramadhan because I had a serious midnight anxiety attack. All the worries I've had for the past year came altogether that night that I couldn't even close my eyes without feeling the urge to ugly-cry.
I did, however, get over it fifteen minutes before getting out of bed to help my mum preparing for sahur in the kitchen. I haven't had any more midnight anxiety since then, though that one did screw up my sleeping schedule.
About one hour before that, I opened the email app on my phone and started writing to someone I trust. At first, I really intended to send the mail. After spending an hour writing about my anxiety without re-reading and changing any single word, I decided to just keep it as a draft. I may or may not send it someday, but saving it into the draft successfully released me from the midnight anxiety attack I was having. It was really helpful.
I guess I'll do it again if someday I get hit by yet another anxiety attack (not just the midnight ones).
Labels: what's inside my head