I don't quite remember when was the first time I slipped that wish into my prayer every night. That one little wish of "Dear Lord, please give it to me." Because I do want it to be mine and mine only. When you've spent every night and day just thinking about it and how wonderful it would be if it were yours, and you have tried so hard to get it, the only thing that's left to do is to pray. And so I do pray.
Or did. Because as the days go by, I've found myself staring at the same empty picture frames. And now that one little wish slowly changes into "Dear Lord, should I never get it, please ease the pain as I let it go." Because even if God hasn't spoken just yet, I already know the answer. From the very start.
So forgive me, my Lord, for I have wanted what I shouldn't.
(Title is from The Holy Quran 40:60)
Labels: what's inside my head