i couldn't be more idiot than this... or could i?

30 May 2011


So last week I started wearing my glasses again, after years of abandoning them, thinking my vision was still quite good. As you know, last week was one hell of a time. I had to sit in front of my laptop for almost 20 hours non-stop. Then my eyes gave up. They became blurrier than ever. Gosh! But I found myself enjoy wearing glasses. My eyesight was clearer and I didn't have to struggle to read small writings, though I still couldn't read the tiny ones.

But, that was until Saturday night, when I was watching the final round of UEFA Champions League. I put my glasses on the couch, and then I sat on them. Repeat: I. Sat. On. Them. Here's what they look like now:

Perfect. Just when I need them the most. Can you believe that this is the fifth time I did this? Repeat: fifth time. Argh! I'm so mad at myself!

And because it's the fifth time, I don't have the guts to tell my parents that I need to repair my glasses (or else I'm partially blind). I have to use my own money *sigh*. I had come to the shop today and decided that I would just buy another pair instead, cause the broken one is too vulnerable cause it's rimless, I guess. I must not be careless this time.

Anyhoo, AECS is getting closer, ladies and gentlemen. I got additional Scrabble boards from SAC:
But one of them has only 99 tiles, so it can't be used. It means that we got 13 boards for the competition. That's more than what we need. But we still need more timekeeper and scorer.

This is totally unrelated to anything I said above, but Mr Boyfriend just texted me:
Just finished 15 sit-ups, hope my stomach is slimmer tomorrow :p
He seriously thinks that burning his belly fat can be done overnight by only 15 sit-ups. Silly boy! Haha :p

Oh and congrats to Barcelona for the trophy! Too bad Chelsea couldn't make it to the final this season. I hope next season will be much better for them, both in domestic and European leagues. We'll keep the blue flag flying high! :D

Kay. I gotta stop rambling now. Haha! So, how was your Sunday/Monday? ;D

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. My student is gonna have the SNMPTN test tomorrow. Wish him luck, lads!

quoted saturday

28 May 2011

{source}

"It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
-Somebody

Sincerely,
Putdar.

(i hope) it's (not) too late to apologise


I apologise for all the negative things I've posted in this blog lately. I'm depressed like a 13 years old, God! Haha... But I'm fine today. See pictures above? I'm actually smiling, though my eyes are still puffy and burning after crying pathetically all night. Boy am I such a crybaby.

This morning I went to SMKN 10 to ask for permission to do the observation for ESP Course Design Class. The person in charge gave me the permission to do it on 6th of June, one day after AECS. That's good because at least I don't have to think about the observation until then. What a relief!

And my boss texted me, telling me that I've to come to work on Monday. It will be my last meeting with my student because he will have the SNMPTN test on Tuesday. I'm so nervous about it. What if he fails? Or worst, what if he fails in English? I keep telling myself that I've been doing great so far, and if he should fail, then it's not my fault. But still, I'm nervous. Gosh...

I have to take a break. That's why I'm here right now, in KFC MTC. I didn't actually kill a cow, so I couldn't make the burger, therefore I bought one. Here. In KFC. Haha! (I got a bad sense of humour :p)

Perhaps this is what I really need: a me time =]

I may become gloomy again when I'm alone in my room tonight. Well, at least I'm having fun right now. I love me. Me is a brave girl. Me is gonna tackle down all the obstacles. Me's been in worse situations and she could make it through the stormy seas. Me can make it too now.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. I actually don't want to tell you about this because I want to win a pair of shoes from this giveaway on Michelle's blog. Do NOT enter! :p

"once you kill a cow, you gotta make burger."

27 May 2011


Have you ever felt that kind of feeling where everything seems going in the wrong directions? You know when you've already said yes and decided to take the responsibility of something, then you should finish it. You should stick to your decision. There's no way out. There's no way back. No matter what happens to you, your brain, or even your life, it's still going to be your responsibility.

I don't want to say that I have taken wrong decisions. If right now my life is such a mess, with unfinished college assignments, upcoming AECS, and unclarity of my job, I should've known that someday these things are gonna happen and thus I should have prepared and not get surprised. But I am surprised. I am stressed. The only thing I never thought of is that those three important things would climax in the same time, at this very moment.

It's the risk of being me. I know. But if you only knew that being me is very hard, and I'm still learning how to be me. I really need a hug/tap on the shoulder, a nice "You're doing good. I'm proud of you.", or at least "Semangat ya?"

But, no. Nobody did/does that to me.

Mr Boyfriend is a commitee, too, so he's as busy as I am. That's why I don't want to give him so much pressure by complaining to him. He himself already has tons of problem, I don't want to add more burden. But I seriously need words of encouragement.

I'm so sorry. I never intended to be such a negative blogger (I've been complaining a lot lately), no matter how negative I really am in person. I really hope this one's the last one (at least for these weeks). I really hope everything goes well until the end. Please pray for me, people. Perhaps some of you out there do care about me. I'll be very thankful about that.

Okay. I need to tell myself to:
Just. Breathe.
*sigh*

Sincerely,
Putdar.

*update*
Right after I published this post, Mijra sent me this text:
"Oo.senyum dan semangat 8D"
I love her :')

spain

26 May 2011

{source}




Sincerely,
Putdar.

(nearly) wordless wednesday

25 May 2011


Sincerely,
Putdar.

i can smile again =]

24 May 2011


Why, you might ask?


Because my torturing assignments are done now! =D

So, is it time to party hard?

Unfortunately, no. I still have ESP Course Design (yet another) school observation and AECS is still on the way. We're gonna have the technical meeting on Thursday. Have you signed up for Scrabble Competition? If not, there's still time until the registration closed in the technical meeting. I'm waiting for you guys. There are still 12 slots. Go grab them fast!

Fight, fight, fight!
Putdar.

the one thing

22 May 2011




Here, just you and me and the fear
I wonder if you are as scared as I am
I'm taking your hand and pulling you near

Bliss, the gentle touch of your lips
An endless moment where time is slowing down
Now I can't feel the ground

I just wanna breathe in this feeling
And never let it out
You just gave me something to believe in
You are the one thing I can't live without

I have never even tried
'Cause I always seem to be the one you only came to
If you needed to cry

If you are wonderin' what we should do
Don't worry baby cause we don't need a plan
Don't need to understand

I just wanna breathe in this feeling
And never let it out
You just gave me something to believe in
You are the one thing I can't live without

I never thought that I would be the one to find
Someone like you, someone like you
I led the selfish life until I realized
I can't live without you
Can't live without you

I just wanna breathe in this feeling
And never let it out
You just gave me something to believe in
You are the reason I keep breathing and believing
And dare to dream out loud
I just wanna give into this feeling
You are the one thing I can't live without

Sincerely,
Putdar.

my saturday night

21 May 2011


I seriously need four right hands, two left hands, and three more brains. Eep!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

quoted saturday

{source}

"Love just is. Whatever it may be."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

an exception

20 May 2011


I rarely wear pink, especially ^this^ kiind of pink. But as I read in a magazine moments ago, the colour of clothes that we wear can affect our mood. I hoped this colour could make me a little bit happier. It worked. I should wear more pink from now on =]

Sincerely,
Putdar.

death by deadline

19 May 2011


The world seriously needs more than just 24 hours in a day. Oh boy do I really want to runaway from everything in my life right now. Only God knows why I have become such a lazy, lazy college student this semester. Procrastination is my new best friend.

Translating, Interpreting, Guidance and Counceling, all have the same deadline: Monday.

My progress so far: Translating 13% - Interpreting 0% - G&C 0%

Not to mention AECS and all its problems. We still need 3 Scrabble boards and 7 timekeepers+scorers. I don't know where to look for them anymore.

I want my mum. Or my boy.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

midnight musics

18 May 2011


Hello! As you might have noticed, I did some changes again to the layout of this blog. I think it might be already fixed, at least for one week. I don't know. I still don't feel that the layout reflects my personality, but whatever. I don't have time to change it again. (I know I keep telling you that I don't have time but I end up doing it any way. So... yeah...)

I'm currently working on creating a test for my student. The SNMPTN is getting closer, yet his score is never higher than 16. I'm so concerned. He pays me a lot of money yet I cannot improve his English =[. So guys, please wish him luck for the test. It's his last chance.

And, while I'm typing, I'm listening to all the musics Ujang has (Yes. My netbook's name is Ujang.) I play it on random, and these are 10 of them. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.





Sincerely,
Putdar.

where oh where did my appetite go?

17 May 2011

As an Asian, I won't be considered as having eaten if I haven't eaten rice. So, if you don't count salak, baby food, cilok, Hot Jeletot tofu, the Sum-sum porridge, and more baby food, then I haven't eaten all day. I just don't want to eat rice. I might have eaten enough rice these past days to be able to survive for the next week, I guess? Haha

Baby food

More baby food

Anyway, I did some changes to the blog layout. I now have a very simple layout. It's kinda dull, actually. I've experimented with the header and the links below it. Do you like them? Well, I don't. Haha. But I might not have the time to change it again for a couple of days, so I guess we'll just have to get used to this dullness. I should be writing Language in Society chapter report now (the last chapter report of this semester, can you believe?) I also have Translating assignments due on Monday, but being the true procrastinator that I am, I haven't done it a single word. Yep, yep. Procrastination FTW!

My Translating tasks list

Sincerely,
Putdar.

on a monday like saturday

16 May 2011


As I told you yesterday, I have a day off today. I finished my work at 12pm and then Mr Boyfriend and I went out on a road trip. We intended to go to the downtown of Subang, but again, I messed up everything. This time my left ear hurt and I couldn't hear anything with it. So we only went to Ciater, took some pictures, had some snack in a cafe in Lembang, and went back to Bandung.






Next time we'll get there, honey!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

no news is good news

15 May 2011


So... yeah, it's (illegally) official that I'll have a day off tomorrow and I don't have to finish the observation report today. Cool. Hehe... However, I'll still have to go to work in the morning, and then Mr Boyfriend and I will go somewhere. We want to go to Kampung Gajah, but we only have limited budget. (Haha! Talking about buckless couple...) So I don't quite know where to go. The place should be perfect for a photo shoot session. Any suggestion?

Sincerely,
Putdar.

quoted saturday

14 May 2011

{source}

"Pain's the only way to happiness."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

"my name is putdar and i'm not a debater"

Before I start telling you what happened today, first please let me say that I'm so glad my posts are back.
{source}

Kay. Now back to the main point of this post. I was supposed to work at 8 am today, but my student texted me and asked if I could re-schedule our meeting to Monday. I said yes, so I was free today. Alas, I was already on my way to work.

So, not wanting to go back home and do nothing all day long, I decided to keep going and joining Mr Boyfriend and his debate team who were having a friendly match against the debate team from Taruna Bakti High in Suci. They were split into two chambers, but it left only Yogi to be the adjudicator. So I was assigned to join Rendila's team and become the second speaker of the team, so that Mr Boyfriend could be an adjudicator for the second chamber.

How was it going? Well, I sucked. A lot. My arguments were lame and I was just rambling there. Eep! But what could I say? I'm not a debater! (And never will be. Haha!)

Our team

Their team

'My' team

After embarassing myself there, Mr Boyfriend and I went to the Grand Mosque and went up the tower to see Bandung from above. It was fun, until my stomach started hurting and we had to go back. He then gave me some kind of medicine and I fell asleep for an hour or so. And when I woke up, the stomachache was already gone! (He did magic!) We had late dinner at 5mu and then watched Inception together.

We got to take the elevator to the 19th floor

It was kinda cloudy

I'm still waiting for the announcement whether I'm going to have classes in Monday or not, because if I'm not, then it will be a long weekend. Yay! (Because there's a holiday in Tuesday) My fingers are crossed!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

my posts are gone =[

Bloggers acted reaaally weird earlier today. I couldn't log in to my dashboard, and when I checked my blog, the last post were the one from Tuesday. Where are all the posts I made yesterday? I hate this. I hate hate hate hate hate this! I want my mum =[

I want my gone posts to be re-posted, but I don't want to do it. It won't have the same taste as the first time I wrote it =[

Bad Blogger! =[

{source}

Sincerely,
Putdar.

night: made =]

12 May 2011

Click to view larger

So, for Translating class, we have these assignments and one of them is to translate sentences from English to Indonesian and Sundanese word by word. Everybody is talking (and cussing) about it in our class Facebook group. The image above was posted in the group's wall by Mr Boyfriend a few minutes ago to give others "an inspiration". I think he will seriously submit it.

I love him. So much. A lot.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

another observation

This semester is hard. I get to do three observations, one of which had been done a few weeks ago, and one was done today. We went to Day's high school, SMAN 1 Margahayu, for Guidance & Counceling observation. The school is miles away from campus. Thank goodness I went together with my girls by car instead of by motorbike. It was H-O-T. I still feel sweaty...





Sincerely,
Putdar.

it's past midnight here

Duh.

But I am still fully awake. My stomach hurts again. I am in my time of the month and as usual, I got this hellish menstrual pain. I can do nothing but sitting down, holding my stomach. I run out of Buscopan Plus, so it hurts all day. Thank goodness, I could sleep for four hours this afternoon, thanks to Mr Boyfriend. It helped reducing the pain for a while but now it hurts again. There's nothing I can do. Ugh... =[

Anyway, I just finished unfriending about 250 people I don't really know on Facebook. I came across some names which made me think "Why the hell did I confirm this person on the first place?" I mean, I really don't know them and I bet they don't know me either. Plus, we don't have any mutual friend, so how could we be friends? Mysterious.

Lately I have come to be very, very aware about privacy on Facebook. I don't confirm friend request from people who don't have mutual friends with me. And if I have confirmed them and they don't interact with me in two weeks, I will remove them.

But don't hesitate to add me on Facebook if you really want to be friends with me. Add me, and add a message on the friend request telling me where you know me from. And after I confirm it, please interact with me. Write on my wall, comment on my posts, etc. Don't just make me a decoration for your friend list! Haha

Kay. I think I have to go to bed right now (I should've been in my bed, actually, cause it's well past my bedtime). This pain is killing me. I hope tomorrow it'll be better cause I have to go for an observation to Day's high school.

Oh and before I go, please tell your mama that Roberto says hi.

"Hi!"

He's cute, isn't he? =]

Sincerely,
Putdar.

steak with you

10 May 2011

^Ha! Lame title. So corny.^




Lately, he and I have been to Waroeng Steak for too many times. Keep telling each other to be thrifty, but cannot resist the craving for steak. (We need to save money, darling!) And it has been the third time that we got this table number 8. The third time. In a row. Wow! I think we should start referring to it as 'our table', shouldn't we?

Sincerely,
Putdar.

"take this to your grave, and i'll take it to mine"

9 May 2011



Light that smoke, yeah, one for giving up on me
And one just cause they’ll kill you sooner than my expectations
To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar (to my favorite scar):
“I could have died with you”
I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - confess (So bury me in memory)
Now ash yourself, yeah, out on the insides, said I loved you but I lied

Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire” 
I wouldn’t piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you

So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat

On the drive home
Joke about the kid you used to see
And his jealousy
Breaking hearts has never looked so cool
As when you wrap your car around a tree
Your makeup looks so great next to his teeth (his teeth)

Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire” 
I wouldn’t piss to put you out, no
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you

So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat

So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat

So bury me in memory around your throat

I don't quite remember every single Quoted Saturday I've posted here, but I'm sure there are some which are taken from this band's lyrics. The main lyricist of this band, Pete Wentz, is AWESOME. I mean, TOTALLY AWESOME! Just look at those words. Purrfect!

When I was a teenager (well, technically, I am still a teenager, but you know what kind of 'teenager' I mean here), I used to have this rage, teen angst, over every single thing: family (especially my mum), school, friends, boys, every aspect of life. And at that time of my life, I used Fall Out Boy's songs to run to. I found a lot of their songs which I felt were suitable for my situations back then. I was in love with them. I was obsessed. I wrote stuffs like theirs. I listened to their songs every single night. I was simply crazy.

But I'm off that phase now. I'm off that scene. The band broke up a few years ago (and it broke my heart). But I still love them. I still love their lyrics. I don't write that kind of stuffs anymore, not because I don't want to, but because I can't. I find it hard to write them without any rage. Haha!

I miss Fall Out Boy. Can't believe I will never to go to their concert cause there won't be any more. *sigh*

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. This week, there won't be a Monotonous Monday post.

unwell

8 May 2011

My face looks so BIG, doesn't it?

I've been coughing and wiping my nose since yesterday. My tonsils are aching and I've got sore throat too. And now my joints are aching. Uh oh, Lord... =[

However, despite the fact that I am ill, I still went to the family gathering today. It wasn't that fun, though. The food was blah and I kept coughing and wiping my nose. I wanted my mum and I wanted to go hooome... =[

Right after I arrived at home, I passed out in my mum's bed. I got a bad dream about being bitten by a huge snake. Then I was woken up by a phone call from my boss saying that my student
wanted some extra meeting aside of the regular two times a week. I got tons of assignments and the deadlines are the end of this month. I also still have the responsible of being the coordinator of Scrabble competition in AECS.

Oh. My. Goodness.

=[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

Sincerely,
Putdar.

another package from the united states

7 May 2011

Have I told you that I won this giveaway on Grace's blog? I won some a handful of handmade jewelry by Aleks. Today, the package arrived.




They are sooo lovely. I love them! =D

Big thanks to Grace and Aleks =]

Sincerely,
Putdar.

quoted saturday

{source}

"Cause saying I love you has nothing to do with meaning it."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

"guess who's back? back again... putdar's back, tell a friend!"

6 May 2011

Oh yeah. I got those lips and two swollen eyes ;p

Oh, Lord. It feels nice to be back again. Do you miss me? ;D

This week's been kinda crazy. The presentations went kinda bad, I guess. PLSBT was pretty good, but ESP Course Design was not. And Management of Education was bad, we got interrupted by the teacher (=[). While Curriculum and Educating was canceled. I thought this would be the last week I had to give presentation this semester, but it wasn't. I hate postponed tasks =[

Anyways, it's Friday afternoon here, so it is officially weekend. Yay! =D

This weekend I will go to two parties: first is a wedding reception and second is a family gathering. And also, I'm going to get my paycheck tomorrow. How good is that, huh? ;]

Happy weekend, guys! =]

Sincerely,
Putdar.