and today...

28 Feb 2011


... I just want to thank you
and apologise.
I've never been the good one.
I might never be one,
but I swear I'm trying.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

what to wear

27 Feb 2011







College has got me confused and over-thinking what to wear today. My life was way much better when I was in high school, cause I had to use uniforms. But it's also fun, though, to wear different and colourful clothes everyday.

Still, I'm so confused as to what I should wear tomorrow. Blah!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. Do you notice that I wear the same smile in those pictures? Haha! Gotta sport a new smile =]


*UPDATE*
I really want to say hi to my French, Canadian, and American readers! I noticed you guys read a few posts here. Why don't you leave a comment and introduce yourself? Let's be friends! =D

ruler???

{source}
"I wonder why it is called a 'ruler', which means 'a person who rules'. Isn't it supposed to be a 'liner', you know, cause it helps us make lines?"

She texted me a few minutes ago, just when I was about to break down due to my last post. Not only it stopped me from crying, it also made my night. I love her =]

Well then, here you go, Mijra: I don't know. Since you mentioned it, I'm wondering too! Haha... Let's ask other people!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

dear you. yes, you... over there. can you hear me? good... good...

I know you don't like it if I rant on the internet about how frustated I am. I know you've asked me a million times to stop tweeting and facebooking. I know. But, let's look at us right now. If I didn't ramble here, how could you know there was something wrong with me? You apologised, said you were sorry for neglecting me today. I said that it was okay, but that didn't mean that you could neglect me again! Look, I know you're sad and down and stressed and tired and frustated today, but why couldn't you just text me? Just send me a simple text, for God's sake! Tell me where you are, what you're doing, how your feeling is, anything! I've put myself into great agony today, pretending to be as mature as you want me to be. I didn't get mad when you didn't tell me what happened with your life this afternoon. All I'm asking for is news from you. And if I told you this, you would tell me to grow up.

God...

Sincerely,
Putdar.

invading unpad

26 Feb 2011

Today, I went to Unpad Dipati Ukur to see Mr Boyfriend's debating competition. Unpad Dipati Ukur is also the campus of my crazy older-but-smaller unbiological sister, Mijra. Here are some pictures.



I met him, watched him debating, and eating some Oreos while he was on a break

And then I met this girl

And then she took me to a food stall, told me that this menu is delicious. Just when my order arrived, she told me that it's extremely spicy. Blah! I didn't eat the whole portion. I loathe spicy food! And she laughed. Ugh... X(


And then I found these stupidities. Haha

So, how was your Saturday?

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. Look at the bunny-shaped rice on my plate. Hilarious, isn't it? Haha...

quoted saturday

{source}

"Being happy is the best revenge."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

good luck? no!


Mr Boyfriend and his English debating team is having a competition in ALSA UNPAD today. People wish them 'good luck' in Facebook and Twitter. I think it's wrong. Don't wish them good luck, for luck sucks most of the time. Never rely on a good luck.

"Go give it your best shot, Ayek!"

Sincerely,
Putdar.

i don't need bestfriends

25 Feb 2011

It took me exactly 19 years. 3 months, and 30 days to realise that I have never ever had bestfriends in my life. No friends stay long enough for me to call them 'bestfriends'. Not a single person.

But, indeed, I have these people I don't call bestfriends.

I call them
UNBIOLOGICAL SIBLINGS



Because blood is always thicker than water.

I love you guys.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

worn out jeans

I have to admit. I have so many pairs of jeans, but only 5 which are in a good condition. And this pair is my favourite, cause it's so comfy! I know there are a lot of people who think it's ridiculous to wear jeans to go to bed, but there are times I couldn't change them to my PJs or sweatpants. They're already worn out, there's a hole on the right knee, but I just ove them so much!




Sincerely,
Putdar.

(unplanned) date night

23 Feb 2011

Tonight, Mr Boyfriend asked me out for dinner. He said he wanted to take me to Pecel Lele Gerlong, one of our favourite dinner place. Having been wearing that new flat shoes which I haven't got used to all day long, I decided to wear his grey flip flops. But, halfway to Gerlong, he changed his mind and took me to Waroeng Steak instead. I was wearing flip flops!






Flip flops! God...

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. Sorry for the bad, bad quality of the pictures taken with our phones.

lolwut?



Hello! These girls had just finished giving a presentation about Vernacular Languages, Standard Languages, Lingua Francas, Pidgins, and Creoles. Huzzah!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. I'm so in love with my outfit today, eventhough you might think it's mismatched. Haha =]

poetry is...

22 Feb 2011

{source}

“If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. These are the only ways I know it. Is there any other way?”

Today, my lecturer mocked on Emily Dickinson's definition of poetry. I laughed at it too, though I know that she might really feel that way about poems. Everybody can define poetry as anything they like. If you asked me, I would like to say that to me poetry is guts thrown up on paper (or my laptop screen).

There is no way of defining it. Poetry's like love. Don't waste your time looking for the definition. Feel it, then you'll know it.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

one year ago

20 Feb 2011

I can't believe it's been a year already. This year, there wasn't NEO anymore, they changed it to SEO and I didn't get a chance to join them. Here, I'd like to dump some photos from last year.

It's me and Mr Boyfriend on our (rail)way to Jakarta. First time going out of town with him =]


The view from our window












During the whole week

Evaluation time

Invading Jakarta. Mr Boyfriend had already left to his hometown.


Going home. Without him =[


Things were mixed up. I was excited, happy, sad, confused, angry, depressed, all at once. If only you guys knew how my life was back then.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

disappointment

{source}

I, my friend, have been trying to be patient for all the things you do/say/write/tweet about me. Today, I've finally had enough.

I'm disappointed. And no, you're not sorry.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

quoted saturday

19 Feb 2011

{source}

"God, help me. I've come undone, out of the light of the sun."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

mr boyfriend tweeted

18 Feb 2011

{source}

I am now watching this series and ranting about Bisma Karisma, a member of SM*SH, on Twitter. And Mr Boyfriend responded with this:


I swear I'd rather deactivate my Twitter account than choose one of the option. Haha!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

grammar's drama

17 Feb 2011

{source}

I bet my friends know very well that I am such an annoying grammar police. People may think that I am a little-miss-know-it-all. But, really, every grammar mistake annoys me! And those people in Facebook and Twitter keep typing things like "I'm waiting you", "let's rocking", "I'm doubt", "I'm love you", etc. Everytime I read things like that, I really want to cross them and write the right word!

It's not like I'm better in English than them. I make mistake too (I'm a human being after all!) I'm sorry, people. I'll reduce it little by little. And maybe you could learn more grammar, please? I mean, just to avoid people like me? Well then, let's be friends again! =]

Sincerely,
Putdar.

PS. Yes, guys. I've seen that there's a misspell in the poster. But it's the artist's work, so let's just let it be =]

today is the day after yesterday

Okay. The title is stupid, I know. I just want to tell you a few things happened in my life today =]

Generally, today was pretty good. I started the day by being mad at Mr Boyfriend because he didn't buy me some bread (childish, I know. But I was craving for bread!) and then I had lunch at KFC with him. That was when I recorded this:


Haha. He's so silly! And things got even funnier when he ordered a 'deluks' burger and the cashier corrected him by saying 'dilaks'. I cracked up.
***

After having lunch with him, he went to his hometown and I had to attend a meeting at my campus. The meeting ended at circa 4.30pm and I end up here in Entin's room. She is ill. Her eyes are puffy I can barely see them (:p). Kachiew came around and she started talking about her hair. She said that she wondered what if she had her hair 'rasta-styled'. Entin didn't know what the heck 'rasta-styled' was and Kachiew explained it by saying "It's that 'hey man' style!" I cracked up once again.
***

My day was back to being average again. I like that. Hope everything goes well. Hope Mr Boyfriend is good there. Hope Entin gets well soon. Hope Kachiew's hair is back to good again.

=D

Sincerely,
Putdar.

3 random things in my head tonight

15 Feb 2011

 {One}
I would like to say that I am so sorry that I threw you up against my bedroom wall this morning, Roberto. I was very upset, but I regret it now I've already got better. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it :'(




{Two}
I hate guys with long hair. Thank goodness, my boyfriend isn't one of those boys who are obsessed with growing their hair long. I love it when a boy looks messy, but long hair? Come on!




{Three}
I am so very ├╝ber ugly when I cry. My eyes get swollen, my nose can't stop running, and my mouth is wide open cause I can't breathe through my nose. I won't cry too much from now on. I won't!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

sometimes, all i wanna be is nowhere. (crybaby alert!)

Today, I woke up to an empty house. It made sense, though, because I had been pretending I was dead in my room since coming home last night. Let's just say that yesterday wasn't one kind of a good day. I got my heart broken for the hundredth time, and, as usual as usually, I went back home and stayed in bed for a longer time. I didn't even intend to get up.

Yet I got up, somehow. Got better, somehow. Got on Twitter and got my heart broken again, somehow.
It's a 'sick cycle carousel'.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

about writing this blog

13 Feb 2011


A friend added me to my college's blogger community group on Facebook. I read the wall posts and saw people's blog. I suddenly felt like a kinda alien there. Everyone seems to have a good informative blog. Someone writes about mathematics, someone else writes about computer programming, there's even a blog about humanity. And here I am, writing a blog about my daily stupidity. I really feel like I don't belong to the group.

Why do I blog, you may ask? It started when I was just a bored high school kid. I remember my very first post was about a rainy afternoon and how I could not go home from a prep course class. The blog was abandoned and had finally been deleted, and then I had this one when I was in my first semester of college. It was an assignment from my lecturer, that everyone had to have a blog and that we had to follow each other. At the end of the semester, I had (yet again) abandoned it for almost a year. Not until I found this blog and this one that I started to maintain this blog again. Inspired by them, I decided to just put an honest representation of my life here in this blog. I write my ups and downs. I write my hopes and fears. I share my loves and my hatreds.

And then I came to a conclusion that this is my blog and that I could write anything I want here. What people put on their blog is their right. There are no good blogs and bad blogs. All you have to do is just write and write (and put some pictures to make it less dull!) Just, do what you love and love what you do.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

quoted saturday

12 Feb 2011

{source}

"Cause you are the brightest star and I'm in love with who you are. And you are the brightest star and I'm lost without your love."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

what's in my bag

Inspired by this and this, today I'd like to show you what's (usually) in my bag.


  1. The Bathe-the-Elephant Bag. I bought this bag at an accessories store in MTC (now MIM) for just IDR65,000.
  2. A manual fan. I found this in a classroom. No one claimed it. Hehe
  3. Si Neng. My HP Mini. My best friend. My assistant. My saviour. My everything! =D
  4. A pencil case, complete with pens, pencil, eraser, markers, stabillo, type-x, scissors, post-its, flashdisks, small mirror, and two IDR500 coins.
  5. Notebook, Oxford Learner's Pocket Dictionary, and An Introduction to Sociolinguistics textbook. I am an English education major. They're my usual stuffs. Haha
  6. A pair of eyeglasses and a bone-shaped case. I love my glasses case! I won it from a quiz held by an ice cream company. It's very unique and people smile at it! =D
  7. A Teddy Milk wallet. It's 'the one who got away just to come back for more'. Haha! Remember when I told you that I lost it and then I got it back? =]
  8. Sony Ericsson W508. My soulmate. I literally can't live without it.
  9. Paseo facial travel pack. In my small circle of friend, I'm known as the tissue box girl, because I carry it around, so people can ask for it anytime. =|
  10. Keys. My house's, my motorcycle's, and Mr Boyfriend's.
  11. Band aid.
  12. Buscopan Plus. Because I have a stomachache schedule each month.
  13. Coin purse.
  14. A small plastic bag. (Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? :p)
  15. Badges. I don't know why I carry them around. I just do.
  16. Pink mukenah (I forgot to put the number on it. Oops!). It's a kind of cloak I wear when I do the prayer.
So, what's in your bag?

Sincerely,
Putdar.

february, according to my playlist

10 Feb 2011


They say February is the month of love. I disagree. But I'd like to share my favourite love songs. Because I'm sick of Martina McBride's Valentine being played all around the world this month. Mine vary in genres. Hope you guys like it as much as I hate McBride's Valentine. Enjoy! =]



Sincerely,
Putdar.