first one, and then two, and then you...

30 Dec 2010

Remember when I told you that it was hard to be positive when your surrounding forced you to be negative?

Well, it's just one of those days. I woke up with a headache just when my mom told me that she's going to Lampung for new year, and guess what? I'm not invited.

It would be fine, though, if only I had a plan. I don't. And I'm going to be alone on new year's eve, just like any other new year's eves. I never go out for the whole of my life. I've been that nice little girl who never goes out at night for the whole 19 years 2 months and 4 days.

It hurts, you know, to know that people who are close to me are going to have so much fun on new year's eve, and, yet again, I'm not.

As if that's not bad enough, today I didn't receive any information on the schedule of my exams. Someone did send me the information after I complained on Twitter. Am I invisible to them?

This kind of feeling sends me back to my first year in senior high school. Nobody cares about me. Even the tailor I paid to fix my jeans doesn't care about me.

And... seriously, people. I'm mad, okay? The last thing that would make me feel better is you being mad back at me. If you want to make it better, at least listen to what I say. If I say "I'm okay, just let me be" then let me frikkin be. Alright?

Sincerely,
Putdar.

the road trip and the garuda on dad's chest

26 Dec 2010






Today, my family and I went to Majalengka to visit an old acquintance of my dad, finally went out of the city for the first time since, like, forever. Majalengka was very nice! Though I like Sumedang much better, I consider Majalengka as one of the towns I want to live in.

As soon as we arrived, it started raining cat and dog. And the thunders were terrifying =[

We only spent an hour there. At 4pm, we really had to leave and go home since our national football team would be playing against Malaysia at 7pm. Unfortunately, there was an accident on our way back home. Don't worry, it wasn't about us, though. But the accident created traffic jam, so we were stuck there for an hour or so.

We finally made it home at 9pm. At that moment, our team was already lost 3 points to Malaysia. My dad was disappointed. He had worn the INDONESIA polo shirt all day. Haha!

Anyway, I just want to say that the Malaysians were cheating. Their supporters used laser to distract our players! Boo ya!

Sincerely,
Putdar.

mr boyfriend said


Yesterday, I texted him. It went like:
Me: "Ay, nonton Dalam Mihrab Cinta yuk? =]"
Him: "Lah? Tumben ngajak nonton yang begituan? Entar teh kamu minta cepet-cepet dikawinin geura."

Sincerely,
Putdar.

tentang seorang gadis dan mikail

24 Dec 2010

Pada suatu ketika, hiduplah seorang gadis malang yang memiliki seorang ibu tiri. Ibu tirinya adalah seorang Penyembuh. Sang Gadis harus membantu ibu tirinya setiap hari walaupun si Ibu Tiri tidak pernah memperlakukannya dengan baik.

Suatu hari, si Ibu Tiri memerintahkan sang Gadis untuk memetik dedaunan obat di Taman Surga. Sang Gadis tahu pasti bahwa Taman Surga itu terlarang bagi manusia, namun si Ibu Tiri mengancam akan mencelupkan kedua kakinya ke air mendidih jika ia tidak menurut. Maka dengan berat hati, pergilah sang Gadis ke Taman Surga.

Taman Surga memiliki semua jenis tanaman, baik yang ada maupun yang tidak ada di Bumi. Obat-obatan dari si Ibu Tiri terkenal seantero negeri sebagai obat-obatan yang ampuh. Inilah rahasianya: dedaunan dari Taman Surga.

Saat sang Gadis sedang memetik dedaunan tersebut dengan hati-hati agar tidak ada yang memergokinya, ia mendengar sebuah suara, suara yang sangat merdu. Suara yang tak pernah ia dengar di Bumi. Suara itu bernyanyi dengan lembut. Pelan dan lembut.

Seiring dengan alunan lagu, tiba-tiba bunga-bunga bermekaran, pohon-pohon berbuah, angin bertiup sepoi-sepoi. Taman Surga terasa semakin tenteram. Sang Gadis memejamkan matanya. Mendadak ia merasa bahagia lagi, suatu hal yang hampir tak pernah ia rasakan sejak mulai dijadikan budak oleh si Ibu Tiri.

Sang Gadis mencari-cari sumber suara itu. Tapi Taman Surga nampak kosong, tidak ada siapapun di situ. Maka Sang Gadis terus mencari, hingga akhirnya ia sampai di hadapan sebuah pintu besar. Diraihnya pegangan pintu itu dan dicobanya untuk membuka. Nihil. Pintu itu tetap bergeming.

Saat itu tempo lagu yang dinyanyikan oleh suara itu menjadi lebih cepat dan semakin cepat. Perlahan-lahan, awan hitam berkumpul. Tak lama kemudian, turunlah hujan gerimis dengan angin yang agak kencang.

Sang Gadis semakin penasaran. Dipandanginya pintu itu, seolah dengan begitu ia akan bisa memandang apa yang ada di baliknya. Tiba-tiba, sang Gadis melihat sesuatu di ujung matanya. Sebuah lubang. Tidak terlalu besar, tapi cukup untuk mengintip. Maka ia menunduk dan mengintip melalui lubang itu.

***

Lanjutannya MUNGKIN bakal ada di buku kumpulan cerpen Be Strong, Indonesia! #tujuhbelas, MUNGKIN juga gak ada. Nama saya gak nongol di daftar cerpen yang bakal diterbitin, tapi tadi admin-nya bilang kalo karya pertama saya yang ditulis untuk konsumsi publik ini bakal terbit di buku nomor 17.

Harga bukunya rada mahal, mamen. 45rb/eksemplar. Tapi semua royalti bakal disumbangin ke korban bencana alam. Jadi, please beli ya? At least help me spread the news.

Ke-tujuh belas buku Be Strong, Indonesia! ini gak bakal ada di toko buku manapun di muka bumi. Yang mau beli, silahkan kunjungi nulisbuku.com ya? Cari aja di sana. Oke, oke?

Sincerely,
Putdar.

the roller coaster


I've been such a !@#$%^&*() this month. All the small things seemed like giant mountains to me. Giant mountains I couldn't climb. I've had huge fights with my boyfriend, all of which wasn't worth fighting for, actually.

Nothing seemed right.

Every word that comes out of your mouth when you are angry always sounds right to you. Wait until the anger has gone away, you'll regret every single thing.

I regret it. And I'm so sorry. I realise that I've been turning like someone I hate. I don't wanna grow up to be a photocopied version of her.

No.

I will not be such a bitch anymore.

Sincerely,
Putdar.

in case i cry myself to sleep tonight...

21 Dec 2010

... blame these:
  1. Ashlee Simpson - Say Goodbye
  2. Hey Monday - Candles
  3. Melee - Learn to Love Again
  4. Chris Bell - Speed of Sound
  5. Paul Tiernan - How to Say Goodbye
  6. Taylor Swift - White Horse
  7. The All-American Rejects - The Wind Blows
  8. Adele - Chasing Pavements
  9. Air Supply - Goodbye
  10. Boys Like Girls - The Only Way That I Know How to Feel
  11. Lara Fabian - Broken Vow
  12. Muse - Unintended
  13. Nazareth - Love Hurts
  14. Phill Collins - Against All Odds
  15. The All-American Rejects - Straighjacket Feeling
  16. Usher - Separated
  17. Band of Horses - No One's Gonna Love You
  18. ABBA - Knowing Me, Knowing You
Sincerely,

when love songs do not sound right

20 Dec 2010

I tend to listen to sad songs whenever I'm down, which (of course) make things even worse. I become more depressed and the world seems so dark and the sun would never shine anymore. But that only happens in certain conditions.

And tonight is one of those nights when I feel like giving up on myself. Oh yes, I want.

When I am down or depressed, my friend, NEVER try to tell me what to do. I know I look horrible or ugly or miserable. Trust me, I know. Yet I need you to just let me be.

Because sooner or later I'm gonna rise up and shine again.

So, please just let me cry myself to sleep tonight. Because maybe in the morning I'll be alright.

Who knows?

Sincerely,

5 things

19 Dec 2010

Lately, I've been busy studying (oh really, Putdar? :p) and these are 5 songs (6, actually) which accompany me through the hell of the time. I'm so in love with them, all of which I got from the free mixtapes at little chief honeybee. Here they are! =]

  1. No One's Gonna Love You by Band of Horses
  2. Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss by Built to Spill
  3. Further from You by William Fritzsimmons
  4. Lady Luck by Maria Taylor
  5. Tap at My Window by Laura Marling
  6. Come Back by Xavier Rudd

Sincerely,

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the wishing tree

17 Dec 2010



Today in English Day, my class had this tree in our booth. Visitors were given a small sheet of paper to write their hopes and wishes on, and to be hung on the tree. I wrote mine. I hope God read it.

Sincerely,

di bawah tekanan ujian tengah semester di akhir semester...

14 Dec 2010

... saya masih sempet nge-blog. Uh, yeah!

Jadi, ternyata si "Excellent" yang waktu itu tuh bukan UTS, guys. Tapi baru "pra-UTS" (ada yang begituan lho ternyata?) Entahlah apa si "Excellent" itu bakal ngaruh di final grade saya. Hanya Tuhan (dan "dia") yang tahu. Saya harus dapet nilai bagus di UTS besok kalo pengen survive. Yet, here I am, writing another blog post instead of studying... =]

Dan kali ini saya ditemani makan malam ala sarapannya bule: toast and milk.
 

Sincerely,

5 things

3 Dec 2010

I've always dreamt about travelling around the globe; to London, Amsterdam, Koln, Salem, Mecca, Sapporo... But, now I feel like traveling around my country first before I go abroad. So, here's my top 5 list of places to go in Indonesia =]

5. Jogjakarta
4. Lombok
3. Belitung
2. Cipanas =]
1. Lampung


Sincerely,

harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1

Two days after saying that I wanted to watch Deathly Hallows, my sister and I went to Braga 21 to watch it. Unfortunately, the tickets were sold out. Only those for 5.30 PM show which were still available. Being the stubborn-die-hard-Harry Potter-fans that we were, we decided to buy it and waited for almost 4 hours before the studio finally opened. But it was worth waiting, though.

I LOVE THE MOVIE. Even though I didn't get the sad part when Dobby died, I really liked the jokes. Especially on the scenes where the trio went to the Ministry. Now, I cannot wait for the second part to release. Come on, 2011!!!

PS. Look at our popcorn! The box was already half-empty before the movie even started yet.








Sincerely,